he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I need to align my fucking chakras
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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