People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
