I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
