I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
