My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
