Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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