I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
