i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Come on in and take your pants off
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