I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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