Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
