The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
