This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize