Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
