i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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