Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
