omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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