what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
