you win again, gameday.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
