Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize