I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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