Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
