i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
