when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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