Are we in a gay sports bar?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
