There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
