my text book just quoted the cookie monster
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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