id be glad to
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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