STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
