okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
