she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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