after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize