Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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