So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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