There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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