I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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