me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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