no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
In America we eat man semen.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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