he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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