can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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