I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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