Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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