Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
