So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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