i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
