WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize