literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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