Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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