He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
