Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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