Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
