omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
