i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize