its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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