I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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