Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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