Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
All the doctor said was why
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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