Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
