are you still at the devil's house?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
